The World Above
by Catastrofica
Summary: Ninjas have become rare in the modern era. Naruto, one of the few remaining, has a new mission. Body gaurd Sasuke Uchiha, the spoiled son of a wealthy family. If only Sasuke could keep his hands off of him. As well as everyone else's. Rated for language.
1. Naruto's Day Off, Or Not

The world above

Sigh. Why me? Oh, right, my boss is maniacal. Silly me. I love missions, really I do, but this was so….. ridiculous. Glancing at my watch, I shuffled my feet as I traveled down one of Kanoha's busiest streets.

I need ramen.

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

It was going to be such a nice day too. You see, I have Sundays off when I'm not on a mission. No paper work, no filing, no training; Just me and my ramen and a nice, brisk stroll around Kanoha. It's the only time when I don't have to worry about being summoned away from my leisure time, of which I have so little. Paying triple the rent of the other tenants (for privacy assurance) in the broken down boarding house where I live is not easy on my wallet; which is a cute little frog, by the way. Then there are the missions themselves. Baa-chan has a terrible habit of sending me out of Konoha at every opportunity. I suppose this gives me plenty of time visit Gaara, if nothing else. Gaara and I are two of the few ninjas remaining after Edo became known as Japan. That was a long time ago, and since then our numbers have dwindled. They don't even have a ninja academy anymore; all ninjas are now self or family taught. Oh, he is doing splendidly by the way, Gaara I mean. Any way where was I? Oh, right, my lack of free time. Any time I don't spend working, or ninjaing…..is that even a word?… Well, it is now, or training, I spend with my friends, however few there are, in an attempt at keeping my almost nonexistent social life in tact. And ramen, of course.

Except on Sunday afternoons, which I keep all to myself. Ah, there goes Kiba again with his dog, as he always does at this time of day. I know this, despite never having a conversation with the boy, because I have seen him, and waved to him. I don't wave anymore, because he never waved back, the prick. His dog is awesome though. He sometimes wanders away from Kiba and comes over to me for a snack, which I now make a habit of having with me for just such an occasion. From what I can tell Kiba is trying to woo a girl he must know. I assume this from the many times I have seen him purchase flowers, or sweets, or asked the old man running the "It's Love" advice booth for his "wise counsel". I don't really get it myself, considering the old man is clearly a pervert, and Kiba doesn't appear to be.

Here comes the dog now. I knelt down and offered him a piece of beef jerky. He doesn't need to sniff me, since we have done this many times before. Such a nice dog. Oh, he's licking my hand. How….nice? Still, I smiled and patted his head. That was when Anko showed up across the street. Have I mentioned how much I hate it when she does? It always ends the same way. Badly. She weasels me out of money, orders me around, asks for favors she never returns, beats me to a pulp, or any combination of these. Worst of all, is that she always carries bad news or missions from Baa-chan. Maybe if I back slowly into the alley way she won't see me. Then it's just a matter of…..oops, too late, better make a break for it.

And then I ran. She chased. I tripped, and she pummeled me into the ground, took my wallet, and told me to "get my butt over to Tsunade-sama's office for a mission briefing". Great, just great. There goes my Sunday. Look at it go, fluttering in the wind, dancing before my eyes, as if to say "come and get me Naruto, don't let me slip away". I sighed and pushed my self off of the ground where I had been lying for a few minutes, looking like an idiot I'm sure.

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Tsunade, my ninja instructor and chief, lives and works in the upper side of Konoha, where all the rich jerks tend to live and play. She's an old hag, though you would never be able to tell with all the jutsus she puts on herself. If there is one thing she hates more then anything else in the world, it's being reminded of her age. Which, might I add, is exactly why I do it as often as I can. For example, right now. I barged into her office, still upset about having my Sunday ripped so maliciously from me. "Baa-chan! We had a deal! No missions on Sunday afternoons! What happened to-", and that's all I got to say of the matter before I was so rudely cut off my Baa-chan's fist greeting my jaw with a warm welcome. I don't remember exactly what happened here. I remember hitting the wall, and Tsunade muttering "Damn kids" and "Never learn", with her fist still held high in the air and an ugly vain throbbing in her forehead, where her jutsu must have slipped. Then, there is a blank spot, during which I must have blacked out. Irregardless, it was worth it.

When I had come to, I found that Tsunade had continued her rant as if I had been listening the whole time. Lucky me, I seem to have missed most of it. "Anyway, you have a new mission." She said, her demeanor slightly less frightening. "You will be infiltrating the Konoha Upper Preparatory School in order to babysit, I mean, bodyguard you target. His name is Uchiha, Sasuke, and he comes from a very rich and influential family, whom, by that way, happen to be paying top dollar for this operation. Any questions?" I paused to think about it and then decided to go with the safest course, "Yeah. What am I posing as? Why does this Uchiha brat need a _ninja_ to protect him instead of a regular body guard? And, what makes you think I'm willing to do this mission, which is beneath my level of training?" She smiled sweetly. This was not a good sign So much for the safest rout.

"I expect you to do this because I _order _you to do it!" The sound of her voice was like a thousand violins….smashing over some poor soul's head. I suppose that poor soul would be me.

When I said nothing, she calmed down, again, and answered my other questions. "He needs a ninja because he has been receiving death treats laced with a jutsu enhanced poison. You will be posing as a student in all of his classes-"

"What!!!!? You want me to pose as some kid at some stupid rich school!? Do you even know what used to be in that building!? Do you!? It used to be the ninja academy! There is no way I am-"

"Did I mention that your fee will bee increased ten fold, per hour?" She smirked. She _knew _she had me.

"Fine…." Oh, how I am going to regret this.

I need ramen.


	2. Skipping

Chapter 2

What did I get myself into? Here I am standing on the steps of the place I hate most. It represented the loss of the ninja way. I stared up at the building as if it where on fire. Hmm…that's not a bad idea. I wonder if Baa-chan would get angry with me if I burned down my charges school. Probably. Sighing softly, I entered the double doors, which were hideously yellow by the way. Who paints a door yellow? Anyway, where is the front office?

Oh, probably beneath the bid neon sign stating "Office".

The office itself is a _lovely_ shade of off-yellow, with purple furniture and yellow curtains. Are all these people color blind? Forcing my best "I'm a good boy, give me a cookie" smile, I walked up to the front desk and asked for my schedule. The secretary didn't so much as glance up at me. I wasted my smile on nothing. "Name?" she asked in a bored tone.

I dropped my smile and answered smoothly "Uzumaki, Naruto." Baa-chan insisted I use a different name so that, in the case the perp is a student here. Any ninja worth there weight in ramen knows the name of the Yondaime of the Hidden Leaf Village. It would be like announcing "Hey! I'm the son of a famous ninja! Come and get me!"

I was brought back to reality by a breathless "Here is your schedule, sir".

It seems that the girl _finally_ looked up. I put my smile back on and leaned in a little. "Thank you! Could you ask someone to show me around? I tend to get lost real easy." I turned my smile in to a more embarrassed one and tried not to gag on the bad grammar I had used.

It would be easier if I meet the Uchiha before class. That way, I could begin my surveillance now, and not have to worry about finding him later.

"Certainly," She said in an overly perky voice. She typed a few keys and I began to wonder how old she was. 27….28? Way to old to be interested in a sixteen year old.

She looked up at me with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry. There is a student with a similar schedule to yours, but it seems that he is absent today. I can have a student from your first period escort you to class, but I can't be of more help then that."

You have got to be kidding me. Baa-chan made me spend _my_ Sunday picking up school supplies and clothes and the damn teme isn't EVEN HERE TODAY!!!!

I took a calming breath, which must have looked like a sigh of disappointment to her, because she looked at me sympathetically. Well, I suppose this gives me a chance to gather information with out freaking my charge out. Baa-chan said that Uchihas are notoriously antisocial.

"That's fine."

She spoke into the P.A. system in an uncharacteristically professional way. "Neji Hyuga, please report to the front office."

She looked up at me and batted her eyelashes. I repeat, creepy. Still, I made it appear as if I hadn't noticed and choose to stare at the, _shudder_, curtains. Maybe if I tried hard enough they would spontaneously combust. I was so focused that I almost didn't notice the door opening and a really annoyed girl walking in….wait, no not a girl, he's to well toned to be a girl. I waited a moment and then looked at him casually.

"Hey."

---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------

Bastard! Damn you Sasuke! Why should I be stuck here while your off skipping school on your stupid yacht. Spoiled Uchiha.

Ok, calm down. I'll just take extra notes, no big deal. Maybe I should add some things in, so Sasuke has to memorize a bunch of useless information. Yes, that would be pleasant.

"Neji Hyuga, please report to the front office."

What? I'm never called up to the front office.

I looked wistfully at Sasuke's notes, which were twice as long as mine, and headed for the office. Kiba snickered as I walked past and I shot him a deadly glare. I smirked as I heard a few girls in the back swoon. Too bad for them I'm not interested. My mood continued to be sour as I walked to the office.

Why was I being called up anyway? Probably another award or modeling- I paused mid-rant as I opened the door.

He was a God! He was tall and muscular with brilliant blond hair, perfectly tan golden brown skin, and eyes so blue that they practically sucked you in and……. Which were staring really attentively at the curtains……Ok, then.

He looked over at me and I tried to look as composed a possible.

"Hey."


	3. Enter the Uchiha

Chapter 3

"Hello".

Neji forced his eyes away from Naruto's and focused on the schools young, pedophiliac secretary.

"You called me up?" He said with as much patience as he could. Honestly, the woman was useless.

"Ah, yes. Could you please escort Mister Uzumaki to class?" She turned her attention back to Naruto, who was sizing Neji up, trying to determine if he was a potential threat. Nope.

Neji smiled at Naruto and said "It would be my pleasure."

They exited the office and Naruto found his curiosity getting the better of him. "Why is your hair so long?" Neji laughed at the predictable question.

"Let's just say that I don't like my family, and they don't like long hair." Naruto had to laugh at that. He was starting to like this guy. Maybe this mission wouldn't be so bad after all.

"By the way, I don't think I caught you first name."

"Oh, it's Naruto, nice to meet you."

This time it was Neji's turn to laugh. "You're name is Fishcake?"

"Hey! Your one to talk, princess." They grinned at each other as they arrived at their classroom. Neji paused with his hand on the doorknob. "I'll go explain your arrival to Iruka-sensei."

---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------

Neji walked to the Iruka-sensei's desk and explained about the new student. He even went so far as to ask if Naruto could sit next to him, instead of Ino. Iruka-sensei raised an eyebrow and consented, if only out if surprise. Neji was very picky when it came to friends.

Neji moved to his desk and awaited the blonde's entrance. If he played his cards right, he could seduce him before Sasuke came back. A catch like Naruto couldn't be left to chance.

Iruka opened the door and….Naruto fell through the opening, asleep. Iruka gave Naruto his "Great, another genius." look, and the entire class burst into laughter.

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Neji could be a valuable asset to his investigation; an easy source of information about the Uchiha. Yeah, that was it.

Naruto waited….and waited…..and…come on already! What was Neji doing? Telling his life's story? Sigh. Naruto leaned against the door and closed his eyes. ……more waiting……..Thud! He opened his eyes, only to be met with and angry looking man with a scar on his nose. He sat up and looked around to find an entire room of giggling students staring at him. He scratched his head in a way that would make him appear embarrassed, when, in fact, he had been trying to disarm them from the beginning.

He grinned and stood up, straightening out his clothes, which were admittedly a bit tight. Anko's doing, naturally. She was always going on about letting out his inner seme out. Actually, she just thought he needed to get laid. He was apparently 'to pure'. Realizing that he had spaced out, he looked up at the other students and put on a sexy smirk. Perhaps he should indulge himself a little.

"Ahem…Hi, I'm Naruto, and I just transferred here. It's nice to meet you. Dattebayo!"

He fought back a wince. Was that how people talked? He had spent his life training to be a ninja, so he didn't really have a point of reference for socialization.

Turning his attention back to the teacher, he noticed that the man was livid. He probably didn't appreciate his spectacle. Oh, well. Kakashi was the same way.

"Uhm…where am I supposed to sit?" Iruka pointed to Ino's seat and informed her that she would now be seated in the front.

Ino pouted but moved anyway. It wasn't fair. She had the perfect seat! She sat right in between Sasuke and Neji, the two hottest boy in school. When they passed notes they had to do it through her and she was able to learn all about them through their messages. Sakura was practically livid when she found out. Sighing, she watched as Naruto sat in HER seat and then focused her attention on Iruka-sensei.

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Bored…..bored….bored……uhg. School was so boring! How could people have chosen this over ninja training? Speaking of which, this mission is going to take forever. No one he had come across so far had been even close to a threat. That meant that Sasuke was being threatened by outside forces: Someone in his neighborhood or a competitor to his family's company.

That means there won't be any need for reconnaissance in the school. That also meant that he would be, as Baa-chan had said, babysitting Sasuke…..when had it become Sasuke? Probably around the time that Sakura started gushing over Sasuke, and Neji was stroking his thigh under the lunch table. Not that he minded. It was nice to have the small amount of affection from someone who wasn't completely crazy.

There was one silver lining. The ramen here was All You CAN **EAT**!

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

You have got to be kidding me.

"Welcome class, I will be your substitute P.E. coach for the next month or so. Any questions?" Anko smile in a way that said, 'Don't even think about asking a question'. Apparently that was too subtle for one of the students…uhm…..Lee? Anyway it was the kid in green who looked like he was going to cry.

"What happened to Gai-sensei!?"

She smirked, enjoying the chance to give someone bad news. "Ahem, he accidentally fell down a flight of stairs and broke every bone in his body."

"Nooooooooo! Gai-sensei!"

With that, Lee was gone and all that remained in his place was a cloud of dust. Naruto and Anko exchanged glances. That wasn't normal. Lee would need to be put under surveillance.

"At any rate, you will all be running laps around the tracks, because I don't feel like doing anything today. Anyone who stops will be running laps everyday for the rest of my time here Any questions?" She turned a malicious grin to the students and raised a single eyebrow.

This time the class only groaned and begrudgingly made their way to the track. Naruto covertly handed his mission status report to Anko and followed the others.

Three laps in or so, most of the students had started walking while Naruto, Neji, and Shino had taken t he lead. Neji, never missing a chance, attempted to start a conversation with his newfound crush.

"Ha…ah….so…., where did you transfer from?"

Naruto paused for a moment before replying. "Suna….but I visited here often and found I liked it here." It was actually the opposite of the truth, but it would be the easiest to back up with falsified evidence.

"Ah…I see…." Neji paused before asking the next question "Is you……girlfriend….or boyfriend mad?"

Naruto laughed at the hopefulness he heard when Neji said boyfriend. So that's his game huh? Fine by me.

"Nope."

Neji, who had tensed up at Naruto's laughter, stared at the ground in disappointment.

"I don't have one of either….well….I had a friend I was really close to, but nothing romantic ever happened with him."

"I see…" Neji smiled at Naruto. "Would you like to come over today?"

Naruto grinned "Strait to the point aren't we?" His grin widened at Neji's blush. It should be ok to indulge himself a little. "I've got some unpacking to do, but I could probably spare a half hour. Is that ok?" Actually, he was supposed to spend the evening stalking….er, protecting Sasuke.

"That's fine!" Neji was lost in a daze until he ran into something….soft? He backed up only to realize that he had run into Anko. More specifically, he had collided with her chest. He only had enough time to let out a panicked squeak before he found himself jerked backwards and pressed into something warm and hard.

He opened his eyes, which he didn't remember closing and found himself staring at a bright orange t-shirt. Naruto was standing in front of him, and he and Anko were staring at each other warily.

-------Anko's P.O.V-------Anko's P.O.V-------Anko's P.O.V-------Anko's P.O.V-------

Well, this was new. Sure, Naruto always tried to stand up to me, but this was the first time he has tried to protect someone else from me…..Hn, Interesting.

"Good for you Naruto, you've made a friend. Better keep an eye on him. He seems to be good at making enemies."

Naruto looked at me, confused. I gestured to the bleachers and felt my smirk widen. I'm going to have to put some cameras up in Naruto's room. I could make a fortune with a porn video staring these two.

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Naruto looked at the bleachers and noticed that that there was a group of boys sitting at the top of the bleachers. They were glaring at him….no, not him, at Neji.

"I can handle it." He said and looked back at Neji, who was blushing furiously at this point. "Relax, Anko just likes to be scary."

The bell rang and the students shuffled into the locker rooms to change. Naruto hurried and changed wary of prying eyes. It would seem that hormones ran wild around here. Either that, or money really did corrupt kids. He was betting on the later.

When Neji finally came out, they walked to his car together. Naruto stared at it for a moment. Having never ridden in a car, he thought it was strange that a kid like Neji could operate it. Oh, well, it would be interesting to say the least.

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Neji was staring at Naruto like he had grown a second head. Why was he leaning out the window?

"Naruto? Are you alright?" Naruto, without missing a beat, sat forward in his seat and looked at Neji. "Yeah! I've never ridden in a car…..this nice before." Oops, he was pretty sure that it would be suspicious if he said he had never ridden in a car.

Grinning, he tried to sit still as Neji brought his focus back to the road. Naruto leaned out the window again as they pulled up to a large mansion, the second largest in the neighborhood. "Wow….".

"Hey, won't your parents mind if you bring someone home without their permission?" Neji blushed and looked away. He parked and handed the keys to a man in a penguin costume. "No," He said, "they're going to be out late tonight, so they won't care."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at that. The implications of being alone with Neji weren't lost on him, socially inept as he was. Would he be willing to do something like that with Neji? He supposed he would. Not until after the mission, of course, but it was a possibility. Naruto paused his musings as they entered the foyer.

Sitting on one of the plush chairs was a boy with spiky black hair, pale skin, and an angry scowl on his face. It was Sasuke Uchiha, the boy he was supposed to be protecting.

"You're early; I wasn't expecting you to break in until later Sasuke-chan."

Sasuke growled upon hearing this. "Hey, you're the one who…." Sasuke trailed off as he noticed the person who moved to stand next to Neji, as opposed to in the doorway.

"Hey."


	4. Disheveling an Uchiha

Disheveling an Uchiha

In his short albeit eventful life, Naruto had been in more than his fair share of awkward situations. There was the time he found Baa-chan and Shizune playing out a bdsm fantasy with Jiraiya in Baa-chan's office. Or the time Anko hog tied him and threw him into the local bath-house; which, incidentally, was what turned him off of women in the first place. One hundred naked women beating up the, 14 at the time, boy was more then enough to give him an irrational fear of naked women. Still, neither of these compared to what Naruto was now feeling.

He now sat in between Neji, whom was glaring at Sasuke in such a way that he was now on the "Potential Threats List", and Sasuke, whom was trying to, oh so casually, brush his leg against Naruto's.

It was strange for Naruto to receive so much attention, particularly of the physical variety. Not that he minded, they were both quite attractive. Unfortunately, Naruto couldn't touch either one due to the fact that he was on a mission. He was pretty sure that qualified as letting his guard down.

He fidgeted and looked from one to the other. Normally he didn't fidget, even when he was nervous. However, he felt that in this case it would be good to appear nervous. It tended to make people more trusting; and he needed Sasuke to trust him.

"So…..your Sasuke huh? I've heard a lot about you."

Naruto smiled in a friendly way. Sasuke meanwhile smirked and gave Neji an meaningful glance.

"Oh? All good things I hope. I would hate to have you think poorly of me before we even met."

Naruto paused before speaking again. Sasuke was a smooth talker. More importantly, he was making a move on his so called best friend's obvious crush. He could see why Sasuke had so many enemies.

"Mostly good things."

Naruto turned back to Neji, who brightened considerably when Naruto turned his full attention on him.

"Sasuke is in our first period, right?"

Neji nodded and flipped his hair back. Naruto decided that it would be fun to run his fingers through that hair. He was willing to bet that both his and Sasuke's reactions would be interesting. Then he decided that Anko was wearing off on him. Shudder.

He covertly slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a paper scrap. He then reached his hand up, paper hidden within, and threaded it gently through Neji's hair. It was soft…and Neji was….purring? Sasuke on the other hand was glowering at Neji so fiercely that Naruto wondered why he hadn't caught fire under that gaze. That definitely qualified as interesting.

Naruto pulled his hand back giving Neji his best startled look. Playing the innocent friend, he held the paper up to Neji's face.

"It was stuck in you hair".

Naruto watched, fascinated, as Neji realized that he had been purring, and that Naruto was NOT coming on to him. Neji sputtered and blushed furiously.

This mission was becoming fun.

--------Sasuke's P.O.V-------- Sasuke's P.O.V-------- Sasuke's P.O.V-------- Sasuke's P.O.V-------

Sasuke had decided to let Neji's attitude slide in favor of checking out the delectable blond who was now seated between them. Naruto was the perfect name for him, because he wanted to eat the blond up. Not that Sasuke would ever admit to having such vulgar thoughts.

It was curious that the blond was not responding to his ministrations. No one had resisted him this long.

Whatever Neji had been doing to the man must have been devious. Sasuke would have to keep them apart if he wanted to taste the blond first; especially after Naruto had practically turned Neji into goo with that stroking. Sasuke wouldn't let that happen again, even if it had been priceless to see Neji make a fool of himself over such a simple gesture. The fact that Naruto wasn't flirting? Icing on the cake.

Sasuke wasn't sure why he was behaving this way. It wasn't rare for him to steal Neji's romantic interests from him. It _was _rare for him to actually be interested in the guys Neji picks. Sure there were a few attractive guys in their high school, but none were worthy of being more then Sasuke's boy toy.

Wait…boy toy, really? Kami, what was he, a 13 year old girl?

Anyway, Naruto didn't fall at his feet like the others did. More importantly, he felt like there was something dangerous hidden underneath the blonde's façade. Perhaps that was why Sasuke was so interested. Naruto was no cowering uke, and though he would never admit this to Neji, Sasuke did prefer bottom. It must run in the family or something, because Itachi was the same way.

NO! Bad Images! Uhg, now he was going to be picturing that for the rest of the day. Great.

Sasuke came back to reality when Neji finally pulled himself together to speak.

"Er….it's 4:00. Didn't you say you had somewhere to be?"

Naruto stared at Neji for a moment and then locked eyes with Sasuke. It was the first time that Sasuke was looking into Naruto's eyes directly. Those eyes seemed to pull him in until he wasn't even sure of where he was anymore. Then Naruto spoke in that deep voice of his and Sasuke put all his efforts into focusing on what he was saying, instead of the way his voice sounded or the way his lips moved.

"Yeah, but I think I want to hang out here for a while longer."

Naruto turned to face Neji and Sasuke snapped back to reality.

What the fuck?

---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------

Neji, despite enjoying the fact that Naruto was not responding to Sasuke's tactics, couldn't help but worry when he and Sasuke had shared that intimate gaze. Sasuke was clearly interested in Naruto, and not in his usual "I'm just taking you because Neji wants you" way. No, this time Sasuke appeared to be completely infatuated with HIS Naruto. Neji had never seen him space out like that. If he didn't know any better, he would swear that Sasuke was sporting quite the uncomfortable problem between his legs.

What the fuck?

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Naruto Turned away from Sasuke to give Neji a reassuring smile.

"You don't mind do you?"

Naruto smiled wider when all Neji could do was nod. Naruto would like to claim that he had stuck around to hang out with Neji, but the truth would remain that he was just keeping Sasuke under surveillance. Now that Neji had shown some hostility towards Sasuke he could hardly leave to two alone. Besides, what was the point in running to the Uchiha Manor to protect Sasuke if Sasuke was already here with Naruto?

"Thanks."

Naruto winked at Neji, something he rarely did to anyone. Then he turned back to Sasuke to double cheek that he was staying put for a while.

He never got the chance. How could he speak with Sasuke looking like _that_?

Sasuke was completely flushed and his mouth was hanging open slightly. His eyes were glazed over and he seemed to be off in a universe all his own. His breathing was ragged and he had his arms draped over his lap in an unnatural way. Naruto felt his eyes widen when he realized why Sasuke was sitting that way. Naruto swallowed hard.

What the Fuck?


	5. Stop me if you've heard this one

A/N

This is my first Authors Note for this story. I just want everyone to know that I HATE this chapter and I realize that it doesn't make a lot of sense. I needed to add it in order to advance the plot. There will be at least two more chapters like this one, but they won't be until the end of the story.

Hopefully.

Thank you for your patience.

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Naruto was feeling guilty. He didn't really know why. After all, it wasn't like he had done anything wrong. Well, ok, he was teasing Neji, but Neji wasn't the one he was worried about.

Sasuke, had finally realized that both Naruto and Neji were staring at him as if he had sprouted a second head.

Sasuke blinked once…..twice….then bolted from the house…mansion…whatever. The point was that Sasuke had fled. Which meant that Naruto had to follow; which must have looked suspicious to Neji. Still, what was he to do? It's not like he could let his charge drive home alone. Baa-chan would have his head mounted in her office; or Anko, whoever got to him first.

And so, Naruto had transformed himself into one of those suction cats and clung to Sasuke's rear window. He had to admit, it was not as much fun as riding_ inside_ the car had been. Especially with the way Sasuke drove.

Why did Sasuke flee anyway? According to Baa-chan's profile, Uchihas never run from anything. Naruto was positive that the ninja who was threatening Sasuke was not around. It also seemed unlikely that Sasuke would run because of an erection. However prominent it was.

How was he going to explain this in his mission report?

At any rate, Sasuke had practically parked sideways. Naruto was no expert on driving, but he was pretty sure that the was not the proper way to park. Sasuke then stormed into his Mansion, which was the largest one in Neji's neighborhood. Why did he drive? Oh, probably because of the obnoxiously large front yard. What kind of person has a golf course in their front yard?

Anyway, Sasuke stormed inside the mansion and took a long shower. Naruto had to wonder at the irony that Anko had Naruto surveying Sasuke at home so there would be no sexual tension.

There was a LOT of tension.

Naruto had spent most of the time trying not peek. It wasn't that he was a pervert or anything. It was the hormones dammit! Naturally, it didn't have anything to do with the way that Sasuke had looked completely….ravished? Yes, ravished…when he had panicked and fled like a deer caught in the headlights. Nope, not a chance.

Naruto's efforts had paid off in the end, as he had only peeked once….and only a little. Yeah. After all, he would be jeopardizing the mission if he fell for mister mood swing.

Mister moody eventually got out and stormed up three flights of stairs to his moody room. Ahem, creative expression room. Art room? Whatever. It was the room where Sasuke went to continue to be moody.

Sasuke stayed there for about half an hour until the elder Uchiha, Itachi as his mind supplied, found him. Naruto couldn't blame him for taking so long. After all, Sasuke looked very disturbed at the moment.

"What are you PMSing about now?"

At which point, two very interesting things had occurred. Anko had arrived to relive Naruto of his mission for 3 hours, during which he would eat and sleep. Oh, and Sasuke hurled his drawing pad at Itachi, who caught it and was now playing a very childish game of "Keep Away".

-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------

Damn kids. Perhaps Naruto needed to have his underwear receive a fresh shipment of toothpaste. Worms? Both, definitely. Who cared if he needed sleep, this was her time to be whispering unspeakable horrors into Gai's ears. It was more fun now that the green menace could do nothing to stop her. Humph. Why was she always the one covering for Naruto anyway?

Ohoho, what's this?

Anko leaned forward from her perch, where Naruto had been only moments ago. Itachi was now laughing maniacally on the other side of the window. Holding up a rather crude drawing of….Naruto?

Anko had to bite down on her cheeks in order to keep from bursting into laughter. Didn't Naruto understand that making his charge fall in love with him was NOT standard mission protocol? Anko pinched herself and leaned ever further forward when Sasuke snatched up the art pad and started yelling.

"None of you business, Aniki!!!!"

Aniki? What was this brat, a 13 year old girl? Anko was almost crying at this point. Trying not to laugh while thinking of all the ways she could lord this over Naruto's head was hard work. Oh, yes, this was too perfect. Anko brought herself under control as Sasuke stormed off in the general direction of the kitchen. She was about to move to the kitchen when Itachi opened the window in front of her.

"Wasn't that a portrait of the ninja you sent to protect him?"

Anko didn't question how Itachi knew where she was. He was the one who had contacted them, after all. This meant that Itachi was probably a self tough ninja. He couldn't be family tought because that would mean that Sasuke would also know about ninja, and wouldn't need protecting. Itachi knew who Naruto was because Itachi had handpicked him for this mission, claiming that "Sasuke would never trust any of the other potential guards." Anko now understood why that was.

"Yes it was. You knew this would happen."

Anko felt that it was best not to mention that Naruto was in serious trouble. It was dangerous for a charge to become emotionally attached to their guardian ninja.

"Naturally."

"You do realize that, no matter how he feels, Naruto will not respond to Sasuke's advances because he is on a mission, right?"

"Yes."

A man of many words. Anko and Itachi smirked at each other, two maniacal minds in perfect maniacal harmony.

"You know what? You're alright. Just make sure Naruto doesn't get hurt. I'm the only one allowed to pick on him."

Itachi raised an eyebrow and the motherly tone Anko had taken up.

"Relax, I'll make sure Sasuke doesn't give up on Naruto or do anything too stupid before the end your mission."

Anko nodded and then jumped down from the very cliché tree she had been perched in. Running around the building and then slipping inside, she crept silently towards the kitchen.

Perhaps Naruto would be willing to pay her off if she didn't tell Tsunade? Did Naruto even know? Naruto knew that Uchihas were lustful creatures, so he would probably think that Sasuke was just trying the get into his pants.

Anko peered into the kitchen again to make sure the Uchiha hadn't caught his hair on fire.

If she played her cards right, she could get Naruto laid AND torture him.

Life is good.


	6. Feeling Small

Feeling small

----fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Naruto had never felt so small before.

He had been sitting in his living room for ten minutes now. He had done nothing but marvel at how bare and small his apartment felt after standing in Neji's mansion.

He tried not to let it bother him.

He had already eaten and showered. He was wrapped in his "Super Frog Man" blanket with matching fuzzy pants (a gag gift from Anko, but he loved them anyway) and staring blankly at the ceiling. He wasn't lonely. Nope, not at all. He tried to close his eyes and get some sleep, but every time he did, the images of the people he had talked to today appeared. He wasn't lonely...after all, he _was_ a ninja. Ninja don't need to be coddled.

Coddled? How was it no one figured out he wasn't a normal teenager? Perhaps….that was normal for a teenager? Naruto wasn't really sure. He had never had friends. Well, he had Gaara, but he wasn't sure Gaara counted as a "Normal Teenager". After all, he _was_ a ninja….among other things.

Naruto groaned and rolled over. He only had an hour before he had to report to "Mister Moody Mansion". Uhg, Anko was right.

He needed to get laid.

-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------

Anko was having fun. The Uchiha brat had been stabbing, yes, stabbing, his dinner for well over ten minutes now. Anko wasn't sure what was wrong. Well, she knew he liked Naruto. That was a tragedy for anyone, but he didn't have to take it out on the mashed potatoes.

She frowned when Itachi entered the kitchen silently. She hadn't sensed him coming and that put her on edge. No self-taught ninja should be able to out-maneuver her. If he had those kinds of skills, why did he hire a ninja anyway? Regardless of the answer, her mirth came back full force when he put an ice cube down the Uchiha brat's shirt. She had to pinch herself again to keep from laughing; or joining in on all the fun for that matter.

She watched as he yelped and tried to get it out, only to get covered in his dinner in his ill attempt at relief. She poked her self with a senbon. She would not laugh. Nope.

When the excitement had died down, Itachi and Sasuke were glaring at each other from opposite ends of the table, which was quite a feat when you considered its length. Why would anyone need a table that long?

--------Sasuke's P.O.V--------Sasuke's P.O.V--------Sasuke's P.O.V--------Sasuke's P.O.V-------

Damn it! How the hell did Itachi do that? He was always making Sasuke's life hell. If he didn't know better, he would think it was his aniki who sent him to the hospital. Itachi wouldn't do that. After all, he would be the prime suspect if anything happened to Sasuke at home. Of course, that didn't mean he _couldn't_.

Sasuke tensed when his Aniki walked around the table. Usually, Itachi would torture him and then leave. This was new. New, and Itachi, could only mean one thing. Sasuke wasn't going to like this.

Itachi stared at him for a few moments before deciding on the least amount of necessary communication.

"The boy…?" Itachi ventured.

Sasuke blinked. The boy…? Oh….

"That's none of your business." Sasuke huffed. He glanced away from his brother and immediately regretted it. Itachi had more ice. This time, his pants got what was quickly becoming "The Interrogation Method".

"Wrong answer."

Sasuke, after having gone through another embarrassing fit with the ice, debated on what he could say. Itachi could never understand that he had….lusted for Naruto. Itachi wasn't capable of being anything but cold-hearted business man or a caprice bastard. Caprice….he liked that.

"Well…?"

Brought back to reality, for the second time that day, Sasuke still had no idea what to say.

"His name is Naruto." That seemed to be the safest thing to say.

"Just Naruto?" Sasuke winced. He forgot to add a suffix. Shit, he had to think quickly.

"He's in my class." SHIT! Stop talking!

"Oh? How is that you met then? You weren't in class today." Itachi had a full blown smirk. With a sigh of defeat Sasuke decided to just come clean. He should know better then to try to battle Itachi with wits. No one should ever attempt that.

"I met him at Neji's place." Sasuke, despite his decision to come clean, had no idea what else to say. Itachi had seen the rather embarrassing drawing so "He's handsome" was a moot point.

"He's…." Neji's crush? No, too obvious. What else did he know about Naruto? He had stormed off (He _refused_ to admit he ran away) before he could really find anything out. He knew that he hadn't heard anything to bad about Sasuke. He didn't react to his touch. He was gay; otherwise Neji would have either given up or mentioned it to Sasuke. Even Neji wasn't _that_ much of a prick. So that left….

"He's in my first period."

"Hn. Interesting." Sasuke blinked at his brother. Why would he think that it was interesting? "You're infatuated with him, but you know nothing about him." Sasuke sighed. He knew that, but it stung hearing out loud.

"You should find out more about him." With that, Itachi walked away.

Why did he always feel so small and stupid when he talked to his brother? What was that really about?

Surely Itachi hadn't just given him relationship advice.

He pondered that for a moment and then decided it didn't matter. He didn't need advice. He was Sasuke Uchiha, god among men. He didn't have an inferiority complex. Nope.

-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------Anko's Torture-------

Anko felt like she was watching the makings of a very interesting game. She thought she knew what Itachi was up to now. All she needed was to confirm her suspicions with Tsunade-sama.

She wanted to torture the Uchiha brat some more, but she knew that Naruto would put it in his report. Even if she erased it, Naruto would just tell Tsunade-sama in person. Gai will just have to do for now.

By the time Naruto had arrived, Sasuke was in bed. Anko handed gave him a condom and a smirk and left him to his rant about her "Perversions".

He needed to get laid.


	7. Almost

The night had passed by almost uneventfully. Sasuke slept. Naruto took to moving Sasuke's stuff around to see if he could make him paranoid. A paranoid charge was much easier to protect, because they always needed someone to confide in. No one else would believe that someone had broken into his house without stealing anything just to move his couch; and there would be Naruto, his sympathetic friend who would listen to his troubles, not to mention Sasuke's list of potential suspects.

The only interesting thing that had happened was towards dawn. A ninja of low level training had arrived on the outskirts of the Uchiha Estate. Naruto flared his chakra in warning. Any genin with a brain would know better then to take on a ninja of higher rank.

Sure enough, the ninja left without incident. He was almost disappointed.

Almost.

-------fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Naruto had been right about moving the furniture. Sasuke had thrown a fit and stormed around all morning interrogating the servants; who reacted with a mixture of bemusement and fear. Perfect.

To think that Anko thought Naruto didn't have a sense of humor.

And so, Naruto followed Sasuke to school with a spring in his steps. Even the thought of having to explain to Neji couldn't bring down his mood. Unfortunately, the rapidly approaching ninja squad did. Shit, now he was going to have to intercept them. If they got too close to the school, Naruto would have a hard time remaining undetected.

With that in mind he dashed off towards the enemy.

---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------Neji's P.O.V---------

He tried to tell himself he wasn't miserable. He also tried to tell himself that the reason why Naruto hadn't come back yesterday was _not _because he had spent the night with Sasuke. Naruto wouldn't do that….right? Neji sighed and sat down on the school steps.

He didn't want to go to class yet. Sasuke was always early, and Neji didn't have the heart to see them together. It wasn't fair, but it made sense. Sasuke always got everything Neji wanted. Neji finally had a chance with a great guy who didn't think his hair was stupid, or that he was great because he was rich.

After sulking for a few minutes, Neji finally stood up to go inside….only to get knocked over by none other than the boy he never wanted to see again. Sasuke Uchiha.

"Neji _Move!_ I'm late!" Sasuke yelled at him.

Dumfounded, it took Neji a few moments to realize that Naruto was not with Sasuke. Then he took in Sasuke's agitated state and had to fight back a smirk. He still had a chance after all.

"Sasuke, we have ten minutes before class begins." He let that sink in before he continued.

"What the hell has made you so riled up?"

Sasuke growled before recounting his tale of the mysterious moving furniture. Which, as to be expected, made Neji burst into a fit of laughter.

"I'm serious!" Sasuke yelled at him.

Neji just laughed harder.

"You might want to come up with a more believable story then that. Trust, me no one will care if you slept in this morning."

Sasuke just growled at him. Neji almost felt bad.

Almost.

-------fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Naruto hated wrapping bandages. Stupid Kunoichi. He had come so close to coming out unscathed when the young female shot him. Shot him! What kind of self-respecting ninja uses flower bombs? Now not only was he going to be late, but he also had to come up with an excuse for walking around with a bandaged arm all day. Hmm……what to say.

--------Sasuke's P.O.V-------- Sasuke's P.O.V-------- Sasuke's P.O.V-------- Sasuke's P.O.V-------

Sasuke was starting to get annoyed. Neji had been glancing over at him every few seconds since they had arrived to class. When he couldn't take it anymore, he passed a note over to Neji.

S-"Fine, you don't have to believe me, but stop staring at me."

Neji read it, but hesitated before answering. That was knew.

N-"What happened to Naruto?"

Sasuke blinked a few times. What the hell was Neji talking about?

S-"What do you mean?"

N-"After he chased you, what happened? He is not in class and he is not with you, what did you do?"

Sasuke clenched his fist. What the hell was Neji going on about? Naruto was with Neji yesterday right? Was this his way of teasing Sasuke?

S-"Whatever."

Neji wrote something back, but Sasuke just left the note on the empty desk between them. He wasn't going to play Neji's game today. All he wanted to do today was relax, and subtly learn more about Naruto.

He was interrupted from his thoughts when Naruto himself entered the classroom effectively cutting off the teacher. He would have found that funny if Naruto hadn't been tenderly holding his injured arm. What happened to him?

-------fishcake-------fishcake--------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------fishcake-------

Naruto gave Iruka his best "I'm a puppy and I've been kicked, so please don't ask any questions" look. He could tell the man was going to make him talk about it sooner or later, but for now he just motioned Naruto towards his seat.

On his desk was a piece of paper. Curious, he opened it and read the rather interesting note. He then turned to Neji and smiled brightly at him. It was a nice to have someone worry about him. He passed the note to Neji.

"I thought it was a race. I chased him, but I ended up falling into a really nasty thorn bush. I didn't come back because I went to the hospital. I didn't know your phone number either, so I couldn't explain what had happened. It was really sweet of you to be worried."

Naruto had also put his cell phone number at the bottom. He did that for several reasons. The first was because he wanted to keep in touch after the mission. The other was because it would prevent Neji from questioning the obvious holes in his story. If Neji's blush was any indication, it worked.

Naruto then turned to Sasuke, who was staring at Naruto's arm in what could only be described as disbelief. It was good that Sasuke was worried about him. With any luck, he would be able to use it to his advantage.

He was a little worried that Sasuke would question his story. He was almost smart enough to be suspicious of the fact that he hadn't gone back inside and had Neji call an ambulance instead of walking twenty miles to the nearest hospital.

Almost.


End file.
